Our First Hotel Takeover – A Tale in Two Parts – Part II (NSFW)

So, with the logistics and lessons learned all blogged in part I, lets move onto the sexy adventures part that I know you are all waiting to read, because really, isn’t that the whole point of attending a lifestyle party?

We arrived at the New Years Eve Ballroom dressed to impress, or as the theme goes, Fancy as Fuck!  I was wearing a sexy red dress with nothing underneath, and my partner was looking dapper in his three piece suit. We had a little liquid courage back in our hotel room while waiting for midnight to arrive, so were feeling pretty confident as we walked into the grand ballroom moments after the ball dropped.  Here we stood, looking around at the hundreds of people drinking, mingling and grinding on the dancefloor. The visual sensation was amazing, with girls in little panties and pasties dancing in cages, couples getting to know each other on white leather couches, and a full dancefloor lead by a live DJ and a laser light show. There were smiling faces everywhere, and it was contagious.

Now if you will recall in part I, I remarked how important the meet and greets and early events are to being successful at a hotel takeover. Having been unaware of this, our evening got off to a slow start. I, for all my credit, have not practiced the art of opening up a couple in a long time.  Back home we let our costumes do most of the work, and here we found ourselves in a situation where we didn’t immediately stand out as being the most outlandishly dressed. In addition, this was a room full of people who had already vetted each other out and in many cases had playtime all weekend long.  A few it seemed were all partied out from the night before and simply stayed till midnight before dragging their hungover butts back to their rooms.

Never one to be discouraged in new situations, my partner rallied and challenged me to a little game. My goal was to go up to a stranger and open them up. It didn’t matter if I wanted to fuck them, they just had to want to fuck me by the end of the conversation. I love games, and with a few deep breaths, I found a woman, beautifully dressed, standing alone, and I went to make my move (which is especially challenging for me because I am for the most part straight). Success!  I opened, got her laughing and was actually able to introduce my partner to her, and she in turn tried to introduce her husband to us.  As it turns out he was distracted, so we took our leave to continue the hunt.

Walking around the dancefloor, my partner, encouraged me to go up to a guy in a pineapple suit, dancing happily on the dancefloor and compliment him.  This I serendipitously did, and both he and his girlfriend would end up opening doors for us, and inviting us to parties for the remainder of the night. After dancing, and chatting up a few more couples in the ballroom and the afterparty, we decided it was time to pursue some sexy fun. The pineapple suite couple invited us to their afterparty, and it was here we learned a magical thing of hotel afterparties, the open door policy.  If the door lock is flipped open, you are free to just walk into any room and find the sexy show of your choosing. It’s an incredible thing.  7 or 8 floors in a hotel, and at least 2 open doors on each floor (we were told that the night before there were a tonne more). Even so, here we stood, in a room with a bunch of strangers talking about vibrators, butt plugs and spankings. Moments like this will always seem surreal to me. Finding a bunch of sex positive people, all in a room, talking about sex like it is completely natural, and commonplace. I get a little quiet in these moments, just taking it all in. I watch, just listening as people laugh, tie each other up, pull out toys and bring out copious amounts of lube. It is an experience like none other. After watching for a few more minutes it was time for my partner and I to find some sexy adventures of our own.

I will gloss over the next few hours of hotel exploration, and hallway blowjobs, because I want to get to our steamy and sexy story which if is too much for you, then please stop reading here. Also, this is a great time to point out, that swinging is not easy! It actually took us hours to find what we were looking for, with constant negotiations, checking in, and of course sips out of our flask! But again, let’s fast forward to about 4 in the morning where our hard work was about to pay off.

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We found a hotel room, that we had been in and out of already a few times. It had a stripper pole, a table full of booze, bed, couch and a few chairs. I was publicly giving my partner a BJ on the couch, with a few onlookers (which is one of my favorite things to do at a party), and he was edging closer and closer to cumming. Just before he reached the moment where he would lose control, he begged to fuck me on the bed. Suddenly I was bent over the side of the bed, with my dress lifted, and him lubing up his hard cock. Within seconds he was inside me, pounding me, leaning me propped up on the side of the bed.  A woman dressed in a school girl costume sat on the bed beside me, and a guy who was pursing her looked longingly at playing with us both. He asked politely if he could touch me. With a slight pause I said yes, and he gently touched my arm. When he got the go ahead from the school girl he started fondling both of us. Within moments my partner was asking to touch her, too, while pounding me, and the playful four-way groping had commenced.

It’s hard to describe the feeling of two new mouths, licking and sucking your nipples, while fondling each other, and your partner fucking you from behind making you cum again and again, and watching his outstretched arm fondling her small and very perky breasts.  These are moments you want to freeze frame and relive again and again, which is the main reason I am writing this.  Pure sexual bliss and freedom.  That moment of shared pleasure, and pure ecstasy. With everything building, it was time for my partner to join in the cumming fun.  He flipped me onto my back, and within a few thrusts was ready to let loose all over my exposed breasts and stomach.  At the moment of climax, the guy behind me grabbed my breasts and played with them as cum shot all over my bare body.  With exclamations of oh, that is so hot from the couple sharing our experience, we breathlessly finished.  Happy and exhausted. It made everything we had experienced that night worth the lessons and learning curve.  We came, and we were beaming with the after-sex glow we love so much.

Our first hotel takeover was a success.

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Our First Hotel Takeover – A Tale in Two Parts – Part I

My partner and I have been attending swingers parties for over 6 years, and during that time we have definitely learned our share of do’s and don’ts. I would now even consider ourselves quite versed in the art of being successful. With that said, the learning curve with a hotel takeover, is as it turns out a whole different beast.  I’ve decided to write this adventure in 2 parts.  The first one (this post), will out line a few of the lessons we learned, some pitfalls and our recommendation to others.  The second post, will share the sexy adventures we had and why we were up for nearly 24 hours ringing in the new year.  I hope you will find both posts interesting, and of course there will be some photo’s going up on my Patreon! So let’s get started!

Every year, my partner and I look for a way to spend New Years Eve with a bunch of sex positive people when we are in California. After last years disappointment with a clientele change at a very popular club we were on the look out to mix things up. After a few google searches, I reached out to a couple that we had played with a few years ago in the area and asked for recommendations. Among the list she sent back was a hotel takeover just an hour or so away from where we were staying. She said the parties were younger, fun and usually a really great time.  Lesson one, always get a recommendation whenever possible.  Lifestyle events are expensive and this helps alleviate a bit of stress wondering if the investment will be worth it or not.

I signed up to the website and started exploring the party and itinerary, as I tend to be much more comfortable with a solid plan.  This takeover, as with almost every one I have seen was to take place over 2 nights, with an optional meet and greet on the 29th at a nearby tavern. Each party throughout the takeover was themed (as they almost always are) and required a costume of some sort.  As we were already packed and in California, this was the first hurdle in my mind.  We have a tickle trunk each of amazing costumes at home.  It seemed almost a shame to have to last minute purchase a whole new 4 event wardrobe for something we were not even sure we would enjoy. So we made a decision to only attend the final event, the New Years Eve party, with optional after party. This was, in my mind, a huge mistake. I had not realized just how integral the meet and greets, or mingler parties are to finding like minded people to ring in the New Year with. These takeovers are designed to provide lots of opportunity to engage with other people, while having hotel rooms, right on premise to have the on-off party fun whenever you choose.  Lesson two, always attend the meet and greet or mingle parties. They are integral to finding other couples, prior to the huge, and very loud party!

As we were only going for the one night, we were unable to book a hotel room at the hotel takeover venue (two night minimum group booking rates were in effect).  This was perfectly fine, as we found a hotel within walking distance. So we got ourselves all dolled up, had a few drinks in our room and took an uber over to the venue for about 9:30 pm (which is the time we usually arrive at swing parties).  Upon arrival we were shocked to discover 2 things. Firstly, that the venue was pretty much empty. And second, the reason for this was most likely the astronomical price of $15 USD per drink (And this was the starting point for bar stock brands, it was an extra 4 bucks for a booze brand I had even heard of). Swing parties are normally BYOB due to the legislation nightmare of getting a liquor permit in conjunction with allowing sex and nudity on premises. But, the invite said no outside food or drink in ballroom, so I mistakenly assumed that booze would be sold for reasonable rates. That was a huge eye opener.  So we went back to our hotel 3 minutes away and drank some amazing cucumber mint vodka and filled a flask for when we returned. After talking to a few people later in the night, it turns out that raising the price of drink is standard practice in hotel takeovers. So lesson three, must be, always bring flasks or drink in your room, because no one should have to pay those rates to have a happy little new years eve buzz!

In part II, I will go into the sexy part of our evening, but I want to say a few words in part I about safe sex. Condoms are absolutely essential to our playtime with others, but something that was brought to light during our takeover experience was the importance of having a safe word. Sometimes play gets too intense, and sometimes people push boundaries, that you wish they wouldn’t. These are two examples of having established safe words between partners.  When that word is uttered everything pauses. A couple especially can asses the safety or comfort of each other and regroup or take action if necessary. While I hope you never have to use your safe word, and everything goes smoothly, knowing that you have it can make all the difference. Lesson four, stay safe (condoms), and always have a safe word!

The last point/lessons I will make about hotel takeovers are actually ubiquitous for all lifestyle parties that I have attended.  These events have a funny way of going until the wee hours of the morning, so stay hydrated (both lube and water), have a game plan for food afterwards, and remember that 5 hour energy is your friend (or whatever energy source you choose).  With this is mind, I hope you can learn from our first hotel takeover mistakes, and challenges to have an epic sexual adventure of your own.

And please stay tuned for part II where I share the sexy side of our first hotel takeover by following me on twitter or subscribe to my blog to get notifications!

Being Triggered is No Reason to Censor

I honestly strive to be level headed, compassionate and understanding, especially to all those around me who are going through difficult times.  I earnestly try to keep my overly critical comments to myself, and try to understand why I feel the need to be so harsh, rather than, whatever the opposite of an opinionated, judgemental so-and-so.  In this post, I am breaking that silence, and saying to hell with it.  I have a strong opinion on those who feel triggered by things in our society and then take great strides to try and ban or censor those things for other people.  And basically, I think these people to need to grow up, and not project really shitty things that have happened to them onto others.  I believe censorship teaches us nothing, and banning things directly violates our freedoms, and yes, I think less of you for wanting to impose your skewed belief onto me.

 

A few weeks ago, I had a friend tell me that she supported the banning of “Baby It’s Cold Outside” because every time she heard the lyrics, “what’s in this drink?” she felt triggered.  It was a painful reminder of the situation that lead up to her first rape and she was in complete shock that I wrote about not wanting to ban it here.  Now I know she shared this very painful moment with me to illicit sympathy and understanding as to what she went through every time she heard the song.  The pain, is for her, still as fresh today as it was many years ago.  And while I wanted to pause, and give her a shoulder to cry on, the realist in me took over and basically told her that regardless of her specific situation, banning a song would accomplish nothing.  You cannot shelter yourself from that specific phrase for all time, and you have zero right to impose your pain on the rest of us.  That is plain wrong.  To take away something from me, that I love, because it causes you pain is the epitome of selfish.

Here is what I equate this thinking to, in all it’s ridiculous form.  Imagine, as I know many of us can, myself included, that the word rape makes you uncomfortable.  Now imagine, for example that any form of that word would trigger in you some form of emotional response, as again, it does for so many of us.  Now, let us imagine that you are shopping for peanut butter, and decide to quickly peruse the ingredient list to ensure that it is appropriate for your specific dietary needs, and BAM!  Without warning, you see the word “rapeseed” listed innocently amongst the listed inclusions.  And you, understandably, do a double take.   Now, here’s where we see rational get overtaken by the emotional, because in that moment, you vow that you will never look at the word rapeseed again.  You vow further to ensure that you a) never read an ingredient list again, or b) start petitioning food manufacturers to take this obscene word off of the list (screw anyone whose allergic to it) or c) you work in earnest to get this seed renamed for the sake of “all the children” who will be exposed to such a vile word (again not taking into the fact that this could have serious consequences for those who are unaware of the change and ingest it accidentally).

Yes, this example is ridiculous and way out in left field, but I do feel it makes a pretty clear point.  When you are triggered, you do not think rationally, and that is completely understandable.  I am not trying to shame your gut reaction.  What I am hoping to accomplish here, is that you take a step back, perhaps remember this crazy illustration and maybe, take pause, to remember that censorship will not in fact heal you.  It will not make you feel better in the long term, and it is selfish to try and impose your will on other people, especially when you have become overcome with emotion.  Hiding behind the word triggered is just that, hiding.  If you need to hide for a while for your own mental well being, then please, do what you need to.  But know, imposing your pain on others does not make you a do-gooder… it makes you selfish.  There, I said it.  Sorry, not sorry!

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The Question on Everyone’s Mind “How Should Men Behave?”

This time last year I wrote about An Unbalanced Gender Culture, and how things were rapidly coming to a head (which I encourage you to read before continuing), with regards to uncertainty within our standard gender roles and how we relate to each other.  I have been blogging and tweeting about Baby It’s Cold Outside and the #MeToo movement with concern about what effect this is having on our perceptions.  And the problem being that we are ignoring the underlying issue about the roles changing between men and women, and more importantly how we are perceiving these changes.  And this is bringing up a multitude of questions, including, “where is the new line?”

Just yesterday, I was bartending, and one of my regulars told me with sincerity, that he no longer knows how to talk to women because of the #MeToo movement.  The last thing he wants to do is offend anyone, but the reality is, he is a newly divorced 50 year old man, and he wants to get out dating and flirting again, but the old ways don’t seem acceptable anymore.  He is completely open to changing his ways, but he also feels too old to walk on eggshells and not be authentic or truthful.  I think his challenges are completely relatable to almost everyone.  The world is changing, and what’s super scary is that we are trying to go back in time and retroactively punish people, media, etc with our currently unclear new world view.

Now let me be clear here, that this statement is not meant to scold the brave women for standing up against Weinstein or any rapist or abuser.  That, I need to be clear going forward, has always been wrong, and will continue to be wrong.  That isn’t hindsight.  That is bravery on the part of these women for finding the courage to say something, even years later.  There is a very clear difference between knowing something is wrong, or that gut wrenching action that made you feel horrible at the time, and what I am discussing here with regards to using todays new cloudy lens then seeking out situations from our past that, probably would not be acceptable by todays standards.  This is the key problem we are currently facing, we are focusing on digging up past situations instead of finding solutions for the current world view or thinking about what we want our future to look like.

So, with that in mind, let’s ask the question, how should men today, flirt and interact with women that they are interested in?  Where is the new line between coy, flirty and fun, versus rude, crude and inappropriate?  The answer, and I am really, really sorry about this, but… there isn’t one.  This is a grey area.  We do not have a solution yet.  So far, we can all agree that we have to start listening to the word no, and further we have to start using the word no in a more responsible and in a firm manor.  It cannot be said with a playful or coy intonation, and whenever used in that context it has to be taken at face value (precisely the reason why Baby It’s Cold Outside cannot be viewed with today’s new standards, no was used in a playful manor).  But aside from that, I struggle to find any other all encompassing rule that can help guide us in a sex positive behavioural direction.  Or in a less wordy way, to help us all get our flirt on and feel good about ourselves later.  Things remain really fuzzy and this is why I suggest we start with the simplest question first, where is your line?

I know where my lines and limits are, and just to give you a little insight or help point you in the right direction I will share or overshare as is often the case; I don’t enjoy flirting with strangers.  I like getting to know someone, and them in turn getting to know me.  Even just a coffee or two in a completely platonic way helps bring my guard down.  After that, flirting becomes fun and an enjoyable action, and I feel free to make dirty jokes, touch, and even drive things towards a much more physical setting.  So for this reason, online dating has never been an effective way to date.  Instead, it’s a way to find someone for a first meeting and then go from there.  I just don’t get off flirting or sexting with strangers.  And this is only an example of what works for me.  This insight will not work for every person out there, not even close.  As there are many women who won’t waste their time meeting someone if they haven’t been told they are attractive or have caught the eye of a stranger.  Expressing desire goes a long way for many, hell it even goes a long way for me, but again, never in an opening message or before an in person conversation (again just my opinion and will not work for everyone which is why I am asking you where your own line is).

My earnest hope in you reading or listening to this post is that you take a little comfort in knowing you are not alone.  And that you don’t give up, or go to the other extreme, which I hope I don’t need to spell out here.  We will find a solution, and we will get out of this grey area together.  Flirting will be fun again!  Mistakes will once again be allowed to be made without witch hunts, and we will again find the humanity in our sexuality, and even our sensuality.  It will just take time, education, asking tough questions and of course accepting a few more stumbles and growing pains.

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#ReindeerBoob and the Fine Line About Censorship

Last week, a friend of mine sent me a few images of #reindeerboob and I was immediately smitten with them.  Combining my love of costumes and showing off I knew this was a photo shoot I needed to do.  So, I sipped some wine and started drawing out what would become a set of antlers, picked out a shirt and enlisted my partner to take some pictures of the completed look.  After taking the pictures, I grew a little sad that this photo album would be for my Patreon fans only.  What a waste I thought!  And then, yesterday, on Facebook of all places I saw it, a post of #Reindeerboob in all its public glory.

But wait a minute, Facebook is supposed to be a family friendly platform, so how was this post not flagged as inappropriate?  Why is what is basically a bare breast with a little bit of glitter and decoration suddenly OK to show?  Well, while it may be flagged as offensive by some, it actually doesn’t violate the prime policy Facebook leans on, and that is the display of the female nipple.  The other component, is that in this case, the breast is not sexualized (well I mean arguably it’s more humorous than randy), but the fact remains, the breast is not being displayed in a way the elicits any sexual behaviour.  It is simply a fun place to put a reindeer, and all the naughty bits are covered up.

Does this seem a little weird or fishy to anyone else?  Why is this the line?  What makes the nipple something worthy of censorship?  Why are we all so afraid of seeing this particular body part?

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Honestly, I have no answer.  There is little rhyme or reason other than someone was asked to draw a line in the sand about what to censor and the nipple was poking just a little too far out.  It was bright and perky, and got noticed.  And well, I now keep my nipples out of the sunlight.  I keep them hidden from public platforms like facebook, and show them off less proudly on my blog.  That’s a hassle I just don’t need in my life.  I have zero desire to have someone tell me that my nipples violate anything and need to be put away, or hidden from view.  No one tells me what I can and cannot do with my body!  So, I toe the line.  I adhere to the policies of the public platforms I use, as best I can, and instead of challenging a faceless entity with my pictures, I use my words.  I use this blog, and the vlog to shout as loud as I can, that censorship is bad, and #FreetheNipple! And when I see the opportunity to follow the rules and show off?  Well, obviously I pounce!  So enjoy this wonderfully festive hashtag.  Make your own #reindeerboob.  Share it with pride!  Have fun with it!  And most of all make this your most sex positive holiday yet!

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