Our First Hotel Takeover – A Tale in Two Parts – Part II (NSFW)

So, with the logistics and lessons learned all blogged in part I, lets move onto the sexy adventures part that I know you are all waiting to read, because really, isn’t that the whole point of attending a lifestyle party?

We arrived at the New Years Eve Ballroom dressed to impress, or as the theme goes, Fancy as Fuck!  I was wearing a sexy red dress with nothing underneath, and my partner was looking dapper in his three piece suit. We had a little liquid courage back in our hotel room while waiting for midnight to arrive, so were feeling pretty confident as we walked into the grand ballroom moments after the ball dropped.  Here we stood, looking around at the hundreds of people drinking, mingling and grinding on the dancefloor. The visual sensation was amazing, with girls in little panties and pasties dancing in cages, couples getting to know each other on white leather couches, and a full dancefloor lead by a live DJ and a laser light show. There were smiling faces everywhere, and it was contagious.

Now if you will recall in part I, I remarked how important the meet and greets and early events are to being successful at a hotel takeover. Having been unaware of this, our evening got off to a slow start. I, for all my credit, have not practiced the art of opening up a couple in a long time.  Back home we let our costumes do most of the work, and here we found ourselves in a situation where we didn’t immediately stand out as being the most outlandishly dressed. In addition, this was a room full of people who had already vetted each other out and in many cases had playtime all weekend long.  A few it seemed were all partied out from the night before and simply stayed till midnight before dragging their hungover butts back to their rooms.

Never one to be discouraged in new situations, my partner rallied and challenged me to a little game. My goal was to go up to a stranger and open them up. It didn’t matter if I wanted to fuck them, they just had to want to fuck me by the end of the conversation. I love games, and with a few deep breaths, I found a woman, beautifully dressed, standing alone, and I went to make my move (which is especially challenging for me because I am for the most part straight). Success!  I opened, got her laughing and was actually able to introduce my partner to her, and she in turn tried to introduce her husband to us.  As it turns out he was distracted, so we took our leave to continue the hunt.

Walking around the dancefloor, my partner, encouraged me to go up to a guy in a pineapple suit, dancing happily on the dancefloor and compliment him.  This I serendipitously did, and both he and his girlfriend would end up opening doors for us, and inviting us to parties for the remainder of the night. After dancing, and chatting up a few more couples in the ballroom and the afterparty, we decided it was time to pursue some sexy fun. The pineapple suite couple invited us to their afterparty, and it was here we learned a magical thing of hotel afterparties, the open door policy.  If the door lock is flipped open, you are free to just walk into any room and find the sexy show of your choosing. It’s an incredible thing.  7 or 8 floors in a hotel, and at least 2 open doors on each floor (we were told that the night before there were a tonne more). Even so, here we stood, in a room with a bunch of strangers talking about vibrators, butt plugs and spankings. Moments like this will always seem surreal to me. Finding a bunch of sex positive people, all in a room, talking about sex like it is completely natural, and commonplace. I get a little quiet in these moments, just taking it all in. I watch, just listening as people laugh, tie each other up, pull out toys and bring out copious amounts of lube. It is an experience like none other. After watching for a few more minutes it was time for my partner and I to find some sexy adventures of our own.

I will gloss over the next few hours of hotel exploration, and hallway blowjobs, because I want to get to our steamy and sexy story which if is too much for you, then please stop reading here. Also, this is a great time to point out, that swinging is not easy! It actually took us hours to find what we were looking for, with constant negotiations, checking in, and of course sips out of our flask! But again, let’s fast forward to about 4 in the morning where our hard work was about to pay off.

NoMoreWetSpot.com

We found a hotel room, that we had been in and out of already a few times. It had a stripper pole, a table full of booze, bed, couch and a few chairs. I was publicly giving my partner a BJ on the couch, with a few onlookers (which is one of my favorite things to do at a party), and he was edging closer and closer to cumming. Just before he reached the moment where he would lose control, he begged to fuck me on the bed. Suddenly I was bent over the side of the bed, with my dress lifted, and him lubing up his hard cock. Within seconds he was inside me, pounding me, leaning me propped up on the side of the bed.  A woman dressed in a school girl costume sat on the bed beside me, and a guy who was pursing her looked longingly at playing with us both. He asked politely if he could touch me. With a slight pause I said yes, and he gently touched my arm. When he got the go ahead from the school girl he started fondling both of us. Within moments my partner was asking to touch her, too, while pounding me, and the playful four-way groping had commenced.

It’s hard to describe the feeling of two new mouths, licking and sucking your nipples, while fondling each other, and your partner fucking you from behind making you cum again and again, and watching his outstretched arm fondling her small and very perky breasts.  These are moments you want to freeze frame and relive again and again, which is the main reason I am writing this.  Pure sexual bliss and freedom.  That moment of shared pleasure, and pure ecstasy. With everything building, it was time for my partner to join in the cumming fun.  He flipped me onto my back, and within a few thrusts was ready to let loose all over my exposed breasts and stomach.  At the moment of climax, the guy behind me grabbed my breasts and played with them as cum shot all over my bare body.  With exclamations of oh, that is so hot from the couple sharing our experience, we breathlessly finished.  Happy and exhausted. It made everything we had experienced that night worth the lessons and learning curve.  We came, and we were beaming with the after-sex glow we love so much.

Our first hotel takeover was a success.

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Our First Hotel Takeover – A Tale in Two Parts – Part I

My partner and I have been attending swingers parties for over 6 years, and during that time we have definitely learned our share of do’s and don’ts. I would now even consider ourselves quite versed in the art of being successful. With that said, the learning curve with a hotel takeover, is as it turns out a whole different beast.  I’ve decided to write this adventure in 2 parts.  The first one (this post), will out line a few of the lessons we learned, some pitfalls and our recommendation to others.  The second post, will share the sexy adventures we had and why we were up for nearly 24 hours ringing in the new year.  I hope you will find both posts interesting, and of course there will be some photo’s going up on my Patreon! So let’s get started!

Every year, my partner and I look for a way to spend New Years Eve with a bunch of sex positive people when we are in California. After last years disappointment with a clientele change at a very popular club we were on the look out to mix things up. After a few google searches, I reached out to a couple that we had played with a few years ago in the area and asked for recommendations. Among the list she sent back was a hotel takeover just an hour or so away from where we were staying. She said the parties were younger, fun and usually a really great time.  Lesson one, always get a recommendation whenever possible.  Lifestyle events are expensive and this helps alleviate a bit of stress wondering if the investment will be worth it or not.

I signed up to the website and started exploring the party and itinerary, as I tend to be much more comfortable with a solid plan.  This takeover, as with almost every one I have seen was to take place over 2 nights, with an optional meet and greet on the 29th at a nearby tavern. Each party throughout the takeover was themed (as they almost always are) and required a costume of some sort.  As we were already packed and in California, this was the first hurdle in my mind.  We have a tickle trunk each of amazing costumes at home.  It seemed almost a shame to have to last minute purchase a whole new 4 event wardrobe for something we were not even sure we would enjoy. So we made a decision to only attend the final event, the New Years Eve party, with optional after party. This was, in my mind, a huge mistake. I had not realized just how integral the meet and greets, or mingler parties are to finding like minded people to ring in the New Year with. These takeovers are designed to provide lots of opportunity to engage with other people, while having hotel rooms, right on premise to have the on-off party fun whenever you choose.  Lesson two, always attend the meet and greet or mingle parties. They are integral to finding other couples, prior to the huge, and very loud party!

As we were only going for the one night, we were unable to book a hotel room at the hotel takeover venue (two night minimum group booking rates were in effect).  This was perfectly fine, as we found a hotel within walking distance. So we got ourselves all dolled up, had a few drinks in our room and took an uber over to the venue for about 9:30 pm (which is the time we usually arrive at swing parties).  Upon arrival we were shocked to discover 2 things. Firstly, that the venue was pretty much empty. And second, the reason for this was most likely the astronomical price of $15 USD per drink (And this was the starting point for bar stock brands, it was an extra 4 bucks for a booze brand I had even heard of). Swing parties are normally BYOB due to the legislation nightmare of getting a liquor permit in conjunction with allowing sex and nudity on premises. But, the invite said no outside food or drink in ballroom, so I mistakenly assumed that booze would be sold for reasonable rates. That was a huge eye opener.  So we went back to our hotel 3 minutes away and drank some amazing cucumber mint vodka and filled a flask for when we returned. After talking to a few people later in the night, it turns out that raising the price of drink is standard practice in hotel takeovers. So lesson three, must be, always bring flasks or drink in your room, because no one should have to pay those rates to have a happy little new years eve buzz!

In part II, I will go into the sexy part of our evening, but I want to say a few words in part I about safe sex. Condoms are absolutely essential to our playtime with others, but something that was brought to light during our takeover experience was the importance of having a safe word. Sometimes play gets too intense, and sometimes people push boundaries, that you wish they wouldn’t. These are two examples of having established safe words between partners.  When that word is uttered everything pauses. A couple especially can asses the safety or comfort of each other and regroup or take action if necessary. While I hope you never have to use your safe word, and everything goes smoothly, knowing that you have it can make all the difference. Lesson four, stay safe (condoms), and always have a safe word!

The last point/lessons I will make about hotel takeovers are actually ubiquitous for all lifestyle parties that I have attended.  These events have a funny way of going until the wee hours of the morning, so stay hydrated (both lube and water), have a game plan for food afterwards, and remember that 5 hour energy is your friend (or whatever energy source you choose).  With this is mind, I hope you can learn from our first hotel takeover mistakes, and challenges to have an epic sexual adventure of your own.

And please stay tuned for part II where I share the sexy side of our first hotel takeover by following me on twitter or subscribe to my blog to get notifications!

The Swing Club High

Saturday night my partner and I decided that we needed a night out, swing club style.  And yes, it has been a while since we’ve attended a club. So, in direct contrast to this time last year when we were attending once a month, this actually felt like more of a treat or a special event if you will.  One of the things that we are both very good at doing is going in with low expectations (which I do not mean negatively).  And by that I mean, if we attend and get to talk to a few couples throughout the evening and finish the night with just the two of us having sex surrounded by people we call that a great night.  And I know, for anyone who has never attended one that may come as a shock.  So, I will re-iterate for clarity.  If we are able to socialize and then just have sex the two of us, we go home meeting our expectations.

Now with that in mind, this last weekend, was a rush!  And why?  Because we not only chatted with one new couple, but we actually connected with a bunch of really rad people.  There was laughter, mingling and just a general excitement that felt electric.  I mean, we actually met a few couples that we want to see outside of the club.  And that, is truly amazing for us.  Imagine how hard it was for you to find someone when you were single.  Now imagine that the dating pool is only 1% of that, being non-monogamous specifically.  And now we are looking for not one, but two people we get along with!  It’s a teeny tiny mathematical number that if we looked at the odds with a critical mindset, it would probably be better to just not even try.

Thankfully though, I am a near annoying optimist with an unwavering perseverance to keep trying.  And for my partner, well, the rewards far outweigh any risk, by pretty much the positive power of whatever negative we are sitting in right now.  And that is why I am jubilant right now, in knowing that we interacted with a few couples!  I mean, it’s a damn near impossibility and yet, here I sit, trying to calm my mind from racing too far ahead with the fantasy of dating multiple couples at the same time.  So, I am trying to snap myself into a logical, reality based frame.  But, I cannot quite shake this smile.  And to hear my partner daily say how much fun Saturday was, just brings a smile to my face.  It was fun, and we have real opportunity in the future to continue the fun.  And, well, I am just on a little bit of a swing club high right now.

The actual events of Saturday were fabulous, with playtime and touching of new people and the amazing visual stimulus that we keep coming back for.  But, the reality is, I am far more excited for the future us, rather than where the two of us were in that moment just shortly around 1 AM.  It’s easy to get laid in a swing club, especially when you bring your own partner.  What’s tricky, is finding something fun outside of it.  A couple with whom, you are trying to set up a date in the real world.  And if everything lines up the way I am so hopeful for, maybe a few of them?

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Guest Post – A Non-Monogamous Origins Story

Every so often I read an origins story that is raw, real and touches on the true spirit of the non-monogamous journey.  And today, I was lucky enough that the person who wrote it, is not only a friend, but granted me permission to share his series of Tweets on my blog.  Every non-monogamous journey is unique and what struck me about his, is that it is so different from my own.  I don’t want to give too many spoilers, but as many of my readers know, my relationship was non-monogamous from the beginning, whereas his was completely monogamous, and yet, years later, we find ourselves with many more similarities than differences.   

@LustinForya thank you for allowing me to share your series of tweets in the original form, as I feel there is much to be gained by your journey exactly as you shared it!

First off let me preface with the fact that I am 35, have been in a relationship since high school with my best friend. 18 years and 4 kids, and we still have sex daily/multiple times daily. Never thought there was anything “missing” and in the normal sense there still isn’t.

We had both always considered ourselves strictly monogamous. About 6 years ago, we decided to start a dirty anonymous Twitter account up to explore a little of our kinkier sides her being an exhibitionist and me a bit of a voyeur, it seemed like a safe place to begin.

We had YYC in our @ so it didn’t take long till we were chatting with local folks from the naughty side if Twitter Very shortly after that we discovered @capcyyc and were intrigued, a little research, and a few chats with Twitter locals that had been and away we went.

We suddenly found ourselves in the middle of a place where, at the time we didn’t feel like we belonged, we were intimidated and almost bolted Luckily one of our Twitter followers happened to be there that night, we chatted and they were similar to us and really put us at ease.

We ended up having sex for the first time in “public” and it was game changing… the sexual energy it introduced to our already very satisfying sex life was amazing. She was able to be seen, and I was able to enjoy her, and watch others play. It was like the perfect result.

We started making “the club” a regular thing. We met a few cool people but but were still fully monogamous. Fantasy, time and understanding slowly weakened our desire to stay that way. We both expressed a curiosity, and started looking for other couples who were interested.

The lessons we learned weren’t easy ones to handle… communicating needs, wants, and boundaries being foremost But then there’s the rejection… and here’s s a couple posts by @K_Ghislaine I wish I had read back then.

Part I: Rejection in the World of Monogamy

Part II: Rejection in the World of Non-Monogamy

Fast forward through some trials, and we found ourselves out at a different local club and we were invited in to an orgy. This on its own was amazing, but in the middle of a pile of people, we were still just having sex with each other. Not really sure what else to do.

Thankfully, at least for shy inexperienced us, the opportunity for the Mrs. to give another guy oral arose ( yes bad pun I know) And after a quick silent conversation with me, she indulged. All the fear of the unknown that held us back melted away after that moment.

And baby step after baby step over the course of nearly 6 years, we went from monogamy to “full swap” swinging. But that doesn’t make things easier, finding couples that all jive together is so beyond difficult it’s hard to put to words.

The closest thing I can think of… is the difference between our eyes, and the eyes of a mantis shrimp Here is a great video if you don’t get that reference https://youtu.be/F5FEj9U-CJM  Needless to say 99% of the time we went home without any “extra” action.

That 1% though… We ended up making connections with a few pretty amazing people, some of which are probably reading this as I write it. And you can out yourselves if you want you sexy fuckers. Aside from them, for us, the swinging scene just didn’t quite fit

It started to feel like a 5 hour race; Show up, drink, socialize, drink, try to find a couple we are interested in, drink, small talk, drink, chat to see if things click, drink, find a space, and then play All in the span of about 5 hours. Getting too drunk is a easy issue.

Now, I think it’s important to mention, I’m sapiosexual, introverted, and have social anxiety… and I drink very little, 1 or 2 tops. So these “5h races” didn’t sit well with me. The Mrs clung to liquor to calm herself, but it’s a double edged sword, and too drunk was often.

Something needed to change, but returning to monogamy wasn’t in the cards. We looked at our relationship and started talking about casual solo play. We both decided it was something to give a chance and explore.

The Mrs, being the sweet, bubbly, extroverted, drop dead gorgeous, social butterfly. Has always had men tripping over themselves for a chance to take her out. She found a guy she was interested in immediately and started seeing him regularly. Me, no such luck…

I’m glad things played out that way, as I was able to stay objective and and got a chance to explore my feelings, expectations, and projections as they came up, unencumbered by my feelings for another human in the mix

That brings us to our most current relationship evolution. Turns out that the guy the Mrs is seeing is a cool cat, and she’s developed some feelings for him, and him for her She still meets all my needs, and when some aren’t met, we talk, things adjust, and we get closer.

And, even socially anxious, introverted Me, has been able to use online dating (OKC), to make a couple really awesome connections, with some amazing women, who are so incredibly different than my wife, and have been able to satisfy needs that I didn’t even know I had!

I guess that’s the end for tonight, as it’s closing in on midnight and I’ve got to be up at 6, and my thoughts are taking a little longer to make coherent statements Next time… trials of jumping into the dating pool for the first time EVER as a 35yo man.

 

So Naïve! The Couples Quest

I’m sure I have touched on this topic before, but in light of a recent conversation on the Hunter Gash and Alley Cat show (Which you should check out at GTFO if you’re 18 or older) I feel it deserves another look.  When E and I decided to look for couples to date together, I went into it with rose coloured glasses.  In short, I was optimistic and naive.  I honestly thought that amazing people would attract each other and that finding couples would be easier than finding new singles as a result.  I thought that all you would need to do was vet one person, and then naturally they would bring to the table their equally amazing partner, just as I was doing.  We would all get together for drinks, and laugh, share stories, and sexy times would inevitably be the result.

Yes, I went into this whole thing believing that finding couples would be simple.  I never considered opposites attract.  Nor did I ponder just how one sided many relationships are when it comes to entering into non monogamy.  I foolishly assumed that if two people were ready to head out on a date, that they would have put the same level of work into their relationship that my partner and I had.  That they would be confident (after the nerves of the first meeting wore off), and sure of what they wanted.  Oh, and I thought that as couples this would eliminate all the ghosting, bread-crumbing and they would be serious, AKA not time wasters.  It after all takes work to schedule 4 people, and that investment alone should mean that we are all willing and able.  Hence, when we finally meet, everyone would have the same goal, which is to have fun, and see if we all get along to determine if we would become friends or something more.  Oh my poor little naive and optimistic heart…

I also, very foolishly thought that because I already have a partner, and was not looking for perfection, that the couples we interacted with would be on that same wavelength too.  You know, looking for fun, willing to overlook a thing or two, and just enjoy the experience of meeting new people.  But oh no!  That has not been the case at all.  In fact, just recently I was chatting to a couple that I thought would be a lot of fun, and was just about to start scheduling a meeting between the four of us, when they dropped the bombshell.  They wanted to find a couple to help them raise their family.  I replied that we weren’t quite at that point yet in our lives with family, but why don’t we meet to see if we even click and go from there.  Not only did they not respond but I got deleted and blocked!  I mean I get that we weren’t quite on the same page, however, what’s the harm in meeting or at least getting to know a couple before you start a family with them?

And did I mention that we are looking for a stable couple?  And by stable, I do mean a couple who love each other, and have a good solid foundation.  A couple that leaves the majority of their drama at the door.  Yes, we all have issues in our primary relationships, but we have come across two couples in particular who used opening up to try and save their troubled relationships.  And guess what, it didn’t work!  And it really sucked for us, as the couple coming into it.  For you see, I begin to care about the people I’m dating, and then when the relationship deteriorates I get upset too, and there are tears and then pretty much everyone breaks up!  It’s a crappy feeling!

So now I go into these first meetings a little guarded and I make a point of asking how long the couple has been together to potentially avoid that particular pain.  And while I can weed out the FWB or new partners very quickly it’s still time consuming business.  I tend to gravitate towards couples who have been together 5 plus years.  I find couples who are in love and stable to be much more attractive than just a couple of hot FWB who only have amazing sex together and no real intimacy.  Why?  Because I am not looking for one time hookups.  Scheduling is tough.  My life is very busy.  Finding partners who are in the same boat makes life much more relaxed and easy going, as you can accept everyone’s priorities and really value the moments the four get together.  For me, it is more intimate and special.

I hope in the next few years, I can lower my guard a little and go with the flow again.  But right now I feel stuck in this weird zone of too many red flags from everyone I talk to.  And I suppose part of the reason is in that open relationships, swinging, etc are becoming a little less taboo.  So the pool is getting a little fuller around the edges.  Many couples are dipping a toe in here and there.  Or testing the water, so to speak.  While exciting, it’s a little tricky when your ready to start swimming laps, and leave the water wings behind.  But hey, at least a few of those toe dippers will stick around to experience the full pool soon right?

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